Jurassica was in a foul ficking mood all last week…. If she’s no better tomorrow I’m getting one of my students to lick the biscuits I know she keeps stashed in her desk.
Oh dear.
Im in hot water.
Ran a photo contest w/ students.
Spot The Principal.
3 photos: Peter Sutcliffe,Mr Benn, Our Principle.
The Ripper won.
Yesterday was first day back after refreshing break. 5 long lovely weeks. Sometimes I get on my knees and thank God that I’m a teacher :)
A quick heads up to all newly qualified teachers getting ready for their first week: DUCK SUCKA!!!….
pologies for the typo: the last tweet should of course have read ‘good luck’ followed by DUCK SUCKA!!
The new academic year is just around the corner and we still have no idea what lecturers have been offered contracts. HR suck hugely.
I must be psychic. No sooner do I post Iast tweet then I receive endless stream of txts from colleagues who are/aren’t returning in sept..
Among the casualties: SFB (a shame,despite staggering thickness she was fun) apparently she misspelt her name throughout all her tests…
also KY won’t be sliming through the doors in sept. The cleaners will be chuffed to bits; no more grovelling ooze to mop up each day…
Lewdencrude is deeply upset at news of KYs demise. Think she liked him eyeing her arse string every time she bent down pick up sundries.
Voltaire was wrong. Hell is being on holiday in the countryside with no Internet.
Paris Jackson / sperm donation bruhaha: a source quotes “Mark Lester is a friend of mine – he is a straight shooter,” ho ho ho
It’s taken a few days for my mind to fully recover from the celebratory caperings, that and several elephant sized aspirins.
Shit In A Suit was conspicuous by absence. Probably out pimping for crack teenies…
He would have been drowned in one of the four chocolate fountains.
Yes.
Four. Chocolate. Fountains.
For fucks sake.
These were of course the idea of The Last of the Mocknicans, (car -crash- blonde head of HR) who considers them state of the art.
Paddington was there also, complete with withering stare and wearing a top that looked strangely familiar.
Sack of Brown was seen briefly staggering between tables trying to stop flaccid arse cheeks from knocking glasses over. Half succeeded.
All this espied by The Arrowsmith as he propped up the bar and dreamed of being somewhere green and calm, preferably sarf of the river.
Reading back tonights tweets- not sure if I soaked them long enough in Vitriol before posting them up :)
Oh what a superfluity of riches! If tonights event were an apple tree, it’s fruit would be fitful only for the most coarse of scrumpy’s…
Collected suit from dry cleaners for tonights inspection celebration shindig. Should be a hoot listening to Execs spout utter bollocks about how valued we all are whilst still paying us an embarressing pittance. There are grade 3 colleges that pay on average £8k p@ more. Hey Principle! It ain’t all about the Love! Stuff the chocolate fountains and pay us what you now know we are worth.
Useless Eunice is off on sick leave for several weeks. Everyone is happy. Things get done when she’s not about.
Never underestimate the power of incompetence. 2 YEARS AGO we asked Useless Eunice for ceiling fans for an IT room that was unbearably hot.
Today (1 day after Useless Eunice has gone on sick leave) they have FINALLY been fitted…. IN COMPLETELY THE WRONG F****** CLASSROOM!!!!
